Take It to Heart. Don’t Let It Go to Your Head.

When was the last time someone told you what you did well?

If you’re a leader, it might take a minute to remember. Most of the feedback leaders get is about mistakes. The missed deadline. The email that hurt. The decision a board member would have made differently. Praise, when it comes at all, is few and far between.

So I want to tell you about the time I ended up on the back of a bus.

A rock star, for a moment

In the fall of 2011, I was one of three speakers at the Foro Mundial de Fundraising, a philanthropy conference in Monterrey, Mexico. The organizers advertised it well. There were ads, billboards…it was even on the back of a city bus.

The organizers sent me this photo of the bus a few weeks before I spoke. Across the top are the event name, the date, and the Hotel Camino Real. Underneath are the three speakers. Marianne Briscoe, from one of the longest-established fundraising consultancies in the United States. Fernando Frydman, a fundraiser who, unlike me, spoke and raised money in Spanish. And then, there was me. My tagline was “La Campaña Exitosa.” The Successful Campaign.

I was shocked by the order. Either of them should have been the main event. But on the day, after lunch, the organizers completely reset the stage before I spoke. The new stage said it plainly: as good as the first two sessions were, I was the main event.

When I spoke, I put the bus photo up on the big screen behind me. I had to. It’s been fifteen years, so I don’t remember it clearly, but I think the room sort of gasped. They recognized the bus. They’d seen it around the city.

Marc onstage with the bus photo on the screen behind him.

In my line of work, I’ve rarely been on a billboard, let alone a bus. I’d rarely had an event this well publicized, either.

It was flattering. It was over-the-top. It was fun. I felt honored, appreciated for my expertise, and seen. For a moment, I felt like a rock star.

My wife, Emily, looked at the photo and laughed. She said she was glad they put me right over the exhaust. They must have known I’m full of hot air.

Honoring, but not defining

Emily’s joke landed because I’d decided a long time ago not to take my press too seriously.

Part of that comes from a story in the Gospel of Luke. Jesus heals ten men with leprosy and sends them to show themselves to the priests. Only one comes back to say thank you and to show that he’s been healed.

Most people read that story from the side of the men who were healed, as a lesson about gratitude. I’ve always read it from the other side. If even Jesus only saw a tenth of his impact, I can be pleased with whatever part of mine I get to see.

That cuts both ways. Most of what you do as a leader, you’ll never hear about. So when someone comes back to say thank you, or puts your face on a bus, you’re getting a rare glimpse. Enjoy it.

It’s also a glimpse, not the whole picture. I’ve watched people get out of balance and start to believe the world revolves around them. I’ve always wanted to keep serving others in view. That commitment is what reminded me, looking at that bus, that I’m still me.

The recognition was honoring. It wasn’t defining.

Take it to heart. Don’t let it go to your head.

Praise for leaders is rare. When it shows up, savor it while you can. Take it to heart. Just don’t let it go to your head.

One way to do both is to catalog your wins. Keep a folder, a note on your phone, or a file in your desk for the thank-you emails and kind words. On the days when all you hear about is mistakes, open it.

And if someone ever puts your face on a bus, check what’s underneath it.

Curious how your own preferred leadership style affects the way you lead? Take the Leadership Style Assessment at concordleadershipgroup.com/style.