Just had one of those meetings that reminded me why first impressions are so darn stubborn.

Picture this: Seven months. Seven months of me repeatedly reinforcing new communication protocols with a remote team. Seven months of them nodding, saying “yes,” taking notes, and telling me how helpful the sessions were. Seven months of hearing them use new terminology… in completely wrong ways.

Last week, I finally broke down and created a written guide. I even included a spreadsheet. I thought I was being thorough—maybe even overkill—explaining the same concepts three different ways in one document.

Clear.

Simple.

Impossible to misunderstand.

Then came this week’s meeting.

“Thank you for explaining. I hadn’t known this,” one team member said about the very thing we’d covered monthly for seven months.

My first thought? Yes, you have.

But here’s what hit me: It’s not that they were being difficult or weren’t listening. The power of that first communication—the original language, the initial framework they learned—had created neural pathways that were practically bulletproof.

Why First Words Win

Think about it. When you onboard new team members, what language do you use? When you introduce a new project or process, what words stick?

Those first impressions don’t just influence thinking—they hardwire it.

I learned this lesson the hard way with my own story about remembering names. For years, I told myself (and others) “I’m terrible with names.” Guess what? I became terrible with names. The story I repeated became my reality.

It wasn’t until I changed my language—refusing to say “I forget” and instead saying “I’m not remembering right now”—that my brain’s search engine started pulling up instances of success instead of failure.

The Onboarding Question That Changes Everything

Here’s what I’m wrestling with, and I bet you are too: How intentional are we being with that crucial first communication?

When someone joins your organization, what’s the very first message they hear about your culture? About expectations? About how you do things?

When you launch a new initiative, are you thinking about the lasting power of those initial words?

Because here’s the thing—people will adapt to new tools and processes, but they’ll default to that original language framework every single time under pressure.

Three Ways to Make First Impressions Work FOR You

1. Script Your Onboarding Language Don’t wing it. Write down the exact words you want new people to hear first. What do you want them to remember when everything gets chaotic?
2. Repeat With Intention It’s not enough to say something once. But it’s also not enough to just repeat it. You need to repeat the right language consistently until it overwrites whatever came before. The repetition needs to be before you meet with new employees. You need to practice the words and make them your own. And the repetition needs to happen multiple times during the new person’s first 90 days with you. Intentionally. Plan it out.
3. Document the Why Behind the Words My team needed more than verbal reinforcement. They needed to see the connections in writing. Sometimes the bridge between old thinking and new thinking needs to be built with actual documentation. (As a bonus, you can document the why behind your work. See our Leadership Manifesto as an example.)

Your Turn

I’m curious: What are you doing to be more intentional about first impressions in your organization? For new clients and for new team members?

How do you help people adapt from the language they’re using to the language you need them to use?

What’s working? What’s not?

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience, it’s that we can’t just hope people will figure it out. We have to be as strategic about our language as we are about everything else.

What’s your biggest challenge with onboarding or changing communication patterns in your organization? Share in the comments—I’d love to learn from your experience.