Marc and I have a secret trick that we use whenever we move, go on vacation, or take on a big house project.

We always keep a deck of cards nearby.

Our cards of choice include UNO, Skip-Bo, or a standard deck that we can play Cribbage with. We don’t always play, but the cards are always close.

We keep them nearby because we know that if we get to doing, doing, doing too hard, we put ourselves at risk of causing or perceiving harm. It’s a little like getting hangry — that hunger that comes from low blood sugar — which we also have to watch for. We’ve learned that in certain settings, we can get so focused on the completion that we might lose sight of each other.

And most of the time, whatever project or adventure we’re on, the deeper intention includes the other.

Even when we took an off-site planning retreat a couple of weeks ago, Marc packed a deck of cards in his bag — just in case we needed our relationship, our togetherness, to be re-centered.

Intention is like that. It’s what keeps us from getting lost in the doing.

When we lose sight of our intention, it’s easy to start measuring progress only by what gets finished — the project wrapped up, the boxes checked, the task complete.

But when we remember why we started, everything changes.

Leadership works the same way.

Without intention, we risk confusing movement with momentum. We fill our calendars and inboxes, but we don’t always move closer to what matters. We may even start to believe that efficiency equals effectiveness.

But intention is quieter. It’s that small, steady whisper that asks, What are we really building here? Who are we becoming as we do this work?

In coaching, intention is often the first and most important step. Before we leap into action, we pause to name what truly matters. We ask, What would you like to have happen? What does success look like to you?

Those questions realign energy. They bring focus and purpose back into the room.

Because intention shapes everything that follows.

It’s what helps us choose rest over reaction, alignment over activity, and presence over pressure.

When Marc and I pull out that deck of cards, it’s not to escape the work — it’s to remember the heart of it. The intention behind all the moving, building, and leading we do together.

Our goal isn’t just to finish the thing. It’s to still be connected when we do.

This summer, when we visited our son in Europe, we learned a new card game — Gin. Another game that can travel with us, small enough to slip into a backpack, strong enough to bring us back to each other.

We played round after round on trains, at meals, and in hostels.

And once again, it wasn’t really about winning. It was about remembering our intention — to stay connected, to stay curious, to stay companions on the journey.

Where in your leadership have you been moving without intention?

What could you place “within reach” — a reminder, a ritual, a pause — that helps you reconnect to what matters most?